Ask Firewire

Ask Firewire #6: Tall, Blue, and Handsome

Dear FireWire,
Although it has been more than a month since the beginning of the new school year, it still feels like a part of me is missing. I thought I would get over him by now, but every time I see that beautifully proportioned 8-by-12 flag, I just can’t forget.

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Ask Firewire #5: Trapped

So uh… a while ago, my roommate and I re-arranged our room.  It was quite late (about 2:30 am) and I guess that hindered our logic a little bit, but long story short I’m trapped inside of my wardrobe. 
The opening is pushed up against the wall, and the desk, which we

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Ask Firewire #4: English is the Worst

Why is the letter “N” in “messenger” when it’s not in “message”?
-Anonymous

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Ask Firewire #2: The Case of the Shower Thief

So there’s a specific shower that I like a whole lot. I use it for everything, mostly showering, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that someone is hijacking my shower when I’m not there! They have absolutely zero respect for other people’s belongings. I’ve considered just opening the

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Ask Firewire #1: My Heart Will Go On

Help! My roommate gets up every night at 2:07 to play “My Heart Will Go On” on the recorder, but when he wakes up he never remembers a thing! What should I do?! Should I wake him up? Should I play along on my maracas? What is the solution?!
Sincerely, Anonymous
 
Dear

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